1. Free your mind. My mind used to be a repeating loop of negativity, worry, anxiety, planning, poor self-talk, fearfulness, analyzing, ruminating, and excessive dwelling. It took time and consistent effort to break the loop. It took self-awareness and educating myself. After many years of hard work to break away from my conditioning, and after many years of yoga and meditation, I can happily say that I have become fully aware of my ego.
By becoming aware of my ego, I have freed myself from my mind. Your ego is what you take on as your identity in this world. It is the source of pride, anger, and fear. But your ego is NOT YOU. You are so much grander and more magnificent than your ego. Your ego is the source of all the thoughts bouncing around in your head. But those thoughts are NOT YOU. When you truly understand this last sentence, you have recognized your ego.
When you realize that YOU choose the thoughts you focus on, you are empowered. I have learned to focus my energy. We all have limitless energy inside of us, powerful energy. Learn how to harness it. Use your energy to the benefit of yourself and the world around you. Focus your thoughts and energy on gratitude and love. Speak well of yourself and others, even in the hidden crevices of your own mind. Eliminate fear by facing it head on. Tell the truth when it is hard and you are scared. Take fear's power away. Accept the things that you really cannot change and trust that everything that is happening in your life, whether you judge it as good or bad, is happening for your higher good. Stop judging things as good and bad--they just ARE. Trust that whatever is happening is leading you to a new and better path. Free yourself from the prison of your thoughts and start to realize that you control your mind, not the other way around.
Recommended Reading:
This book describes the ego better than anything else I've ever read. An enlightening read.
2. Don't eat what they feed you. Just because the majority of people do something, believe something, or live a standard, normal, conventional, and accepted way of life does not mean I need or want to do the same. Just because someone is trying to sell me something, it doesn't mean I'm going to buy it. I think for myself. I always have. I digest multiple view points, logically pick through the information, check facts, and I follow my intuition. My gut has rarely steered my wrong. I am not one of the sheeple and I never intend to be. I will not be a drone. I will not join the rat race. I live an unconventional life, but I am happier than the majority that does what is accepted and expected of them. That is true riches, in my opinion. I choose to be authentic and true to myself. I choose to follow my bliss and do the things that make me smile. I choose to be free. Freedom is very much a choice. It takes courage, guts and bravery to face disapproval and judgment, to risk rejection. However, it is ONLY when you don't need that approval that you become free. It is when you do what you do because you love to do it and anyone who doesn't like it can kick rocks. It's when you just don't give a shit.
3. Put good food in your mouth. I feel substantially better when I put real food in my mouth. There is a marked difference between how I feel when I eat Doritos compared to how I feel when I eat a watermelon. The more fruit and veggies I eat, the higher I get on life. I can literally feel my vibration rise until I'm buzzing with good energy. It is pretty simple: Eat good food and feel on top of the world, or eat junk food and feel like crap. Kind of a no-brainer.
4. Move your body on the regular. They say exercise is the best form of therapy, and I would have to agree. There is nothing quite like a powerful endorphin rush surging through your body! Exercise lifts me up, makes me feel strong and lean, and fixes the worst bad day. A nice walk is meditative and relaxing, while an intense sweaty workout is empowering and calming. If I have a day where my hormones have me climbing walls, or I can't get rid of heavy thoughts circulating through my mind, I get in a heart-pumping workout and feel better. As someone who has dealt with more depression than I'd like to admit, exercise has been essential to my mental and emotional health. Once I go more than a few days without a workout, I feel the negative effects, which is why I put effort into working out at least every other day. Working out makes you feel good, plain and simple. Plus you'll look better, and who doesn't want that?
5. Spend time in nature daily. I see a dramatic difference in myself when I don't go outside every day. My favorite things to do outdoors are walking my dogs in the forest (whether on a short trail or a long hike), stand up paddle boarding, and fishing. When I get out there in the trees and by the water, I just feel so damn good. So relaxed and refreshed. Grounded and centered. When you are surrounded by the beauty of nature, you see see the miracles and artwork of life. You can be quiet and go within. You can connect with your spirit and receive guidance. You can meditate. You can clear your mind. You can breathe fresh air deep into your lungs. Playing in the woods and in the water is one of the kindest things I do for myself.
Playing in nature with my dogs, Loki and Lola.
6. Set boundaries with life. Everything in life is a negotiation. Everything. There may be compromises to make at times, but it's best to strive for win-win situations. You negotiate with life every day. You decide what you'll give. You decide what you will put up with. You decide how you allow people to treat you. You decide what job you'll have, what car you'll drive, and which people you hang out with. When you realize that everything in your life is a choice you made, you go from victim to creator. When you realize you call the shots, you start winning. I know what I will tolerate and what I won't. I know who I want to be around and who I don't. I know where I'll live and where I won't. I know what I will do for a living and what I won't. Take ownership of your life. Stop being the door mat and start making the decisions. What do you value in life? What are your principles? Instead of trying to work around your values and principles, make them the foundation for your life. Build a life around what YOU value, not what you are told you should value.
7. Do what you love. I bartended and waited tables for years. When we opened our shop, I continued to do so for the first year so I could pay the bills. Did I love doing that? No. But I do love our shop and I was willing to do what it took to do what I love. Yes, you have to pay the bills. You might have to take a job you don't want. The key is to spend the rest of your time doing what lights you up inside. Do what you love. Focus on what you love. Find out what makes you happy and do more of it. If you put effort into what makes you smile on the inside, you will grow and attract more of the same. Soon, naturally and organically, if you believe it is possible, you will find yourself doing ONLY what brings you joy. And, by the way, when you're doing what you love, even on those long nights, it won't feel like work.
8. Don't let things own you. The more you have, the more responsibility you have, the more weighed down you are. Some people spend their entire lives accumulating things--houses, cars, boats, and toys. The majority love to play Look What I Have with their neighbors. The majority are defined by what they have. The majority are victims of their ego. The majority are sheeple, working hard so they can give their money away to the rich. Don't get me wrong, I used to be a proponent of retail therapy. My credit card companies used to love me. Funny how none of those things I bought ever made me feel any better. After the initial high of buying a new toy or outfit, I resumed feeling sad, lonely, angry, irritable, or whatever negative emotion I was feeling to begin with. Our culture encourages us to buy, buy, buy, but I am always the happiest deep down when I live with less. Living simply makes me the happiest. Name brand clothes and a nice car do not define who I am. My ego does not hold power over me. What can you get rid of? What don't you need? Is that $400 car payment really worth it? Or would that money be better spent on a life experience that will feed your soul? Instead of spending your money on a bunch of stuff you don't need, why don't you travel somewhere exotic, try a new sport, or *gasp* give some away when your heart guides you to?
9. Be compassionate towards yourself. I tend to be a perfectionist. I can be hard on myself. I can criticize myself. That's not all bad, because you need to face yourself to be great. You must challenge yourself in order to evolve. I have learned, however, that I need to balance my perfectionism with compassion. I shouldn't always be hard on myself, and in the past few years, I have learned to go easier on myself. I'm driven, so my personal challenge is to take it down a notch and show myself some love. Like wrap myself up in a blanket with a watermelon, a spoon and the Real Housewives kind of love. On those days when I don't feel good for some reason, I cut myself a break. If I feel like I need to sleep more, I sleep more. If I feel like I need to eat more, I eat more. I am tuned into my body and my heart. I listen to what I need, and I give it to myself. Self-love is essential. Treat yourself how you would treat your best friend.
10. Live in a bubble of love. You have control over what comes into your life, who comes into your life, what you focus on, what you talk about and what you think about. Do you really need to spend two hours dwelling on that person who was rude to you? Do you really need to say hurtful things to others? Do you need to spend time with that friend who just brings you down? Bring positive things into your life. Think about things that make you happy. Speak well of others and yourself. Talk about what you love. Spend time with people who lift you up. Watch shows and read books that make you smile. Like uplifting facebook pages so that your newsfeed is full of words and images that fill your soul. Do kind things for others. Let your light shine brightly so that you spark the flame of others. The more you include love in your life, and the more you exclude fear, the more love will flow into your life. Love is all that really matters.
This could be your "live it up" manifesto, Monica! I think it's a great declaration of independence to live the life you want.
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