Change Your Language and Change Your Life

I'm a reformed Negative Nelly.  My life used to be full of pain, struggle and suffering (& consequently, anger), and I didn't understand how bad things could keep happening to me when I was a good person.  It wasn't until I learned how our thoughts, and more specifically the words we use, directly affect the quality of our life.  I used to think this was woo-woo nonsense until I gave it a shot and started seeing dramatic changes in my life.  DRAMATIC changes.

WHAT YOU FOCUS ON EXPANDS
What are you focusing on right now?  Are you worrying or anxious, thinking about the things in your life that you DON'T want?  Flip it around with this question:

If this is what I DON'T want, then what DO I want?  

Think about what you want, FEEL what you want, imagine your life as you want it, and then ALLOW it to happen by believing that it will.  Everything in your life begins as a thought, so which thoughts are you sowing today that you can reap tomorrow?

Try this exercise: Eliminate the words DON'T, CAN'T, NEVER, NOT & NO from your vocabulary.  Every time you say one of these words, put a quarter in a jar.  Hopefully you won't lose out on more than a couple lattes before you break this bad habit. ;)

WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Here are examples of how you can flip your language--can you FEEL the difference?

Instead of:
I don't want to work today.
Try this:
I would love a day off!


Instead of:
I can't lose this weight!
Try this:
I'm showing myself love with delicious, healthy food and consistent, fun workouts, and I feel myself getting healthier every day.  I love that I'll be rocking a bikini by summer!


Instead of:
I don't have enough money.
Try this:
There is abundance all around me and I am blessed with so much--I love that I always have just what I need and more is coming my way!


Instead of:
I can't afford that.
Try this:
I love the feeling of having ________ in my life and am excited for it to arrive!


Instead of:
I can never find a parking spot!
Try this:
I love when I find parking spots right up front!


Instead of:
Don't forget!
Try this:
Remember!

These are a few simple examples.  I started changing my language about five years ago, and I noticed a profound impact on my life.  I used to be a chronic Negative Nelly, always worrying, anxious and depressed about something, always coming from a place of lack and "I can't."

Changing the way I spoke was uncomfortable at first.  I felt silly since most of the people around me talked in the same negative way I did.  It is interesting how like-minded people attract one another, but that's another blog post. ;)  Soon enough, I started to FEEL better by just talking in a more positive way.  My mood, my vibe, lifted with each sentence.  With practice, it became second nature, and today it feels very unnatural to talk about what I don't want or what I don't like.  I choose instead to talk about what I love and want out of life, and to express gratitude for the many blessings that have already come my way.


GRATITUDE

Speaking of gratitude, if you don't have any, you are going to feel fake and inauthentic speaking more positively.  And if you don't feel your new language, it won't mean a damn thing.  You can talk and talk and talk, but it is the FEELING behind your words that truly matters.

So...what are you grateful for?  If you're deep into the negative mindset like I was, and you feel like everything is going wrong like I did, then it may be hard for you to recognize your blessings.  Let me assure you, though, they are there.

Do you have a roof over your head?
Do you have food on your table?
Do you have a vehicle to drive?
Do you have just one person who loves you?
Is the sun shining?
Did someone show you appreciation this week?
Can you walk?
Can you run?
Do you have a gift or talent that others don't have (whether you're using it or not)?

Start with the little things that you take for granted.  You're on a computer right now reading this, which is a blessing.  Look outside of yourself and your world and realize that there are so many people on this planet, entire countries of people, who only want what you have, even if you feel like what you have is not enough.  Really think about that.  Now show some gratitude.

Make a list of what you're grateful for and read it every morning.  Or better yet, write a new list every morning.  Start your day with gratitude.  Continue your day with positive language, feeling what you say.  You are going to feel lighter.  You are going to feel happier.  And as you appreciate the blessings you've already been given, and focus on what you DO want instead of what you DON'T want, more and more blessings will find their way to you.


DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT--TRY IT FOR YOURSELF
When I first heard this information, I thought it was a bunch of woo-woo nonsense.  I also thought it was worth a shot, since my own life wasn't going very well.  Why not, right?  Then amazing things started to happen.  I started receiving the things I was focusing on.  They were little things at first: a parking spot up front, an item I wanted coming into my life without me buying it, unexpected money coming in to pay the bills.  As more of these synchronistic events began to happen, my faith grew.  My belief grew.  My doubt started to die away.  In one amazing year, I received a brand new free flat screen TV, a free tanning bed, a free stay at a luxurious hotel in San Diego, and a free car (albeit a beater lol).  Then larger things began happening, like opening a business without any roadblocks standing before my partners and I.  I believe what I'm telling you, not because I read it in some book, but because I've LIVED IT.  I've seen these miracles happen in my life.  I've come to realize that life does not have to be about struggle and hardship, although when struggles happen it is usually so we can develop into a better version of ourselves.  Life does not have to be all pain and suffering and sacrifice.  Life can be simple and easy.  You can manifest what you want, especially if you come from a place of love.  Just because it can be easy doesn't mean it won't take effort, but there is a huge difference between effort and pain & struggle.  

"Bad" things still happen in my life, although now I am not so quick to judge something as good or bad.  It just is.  "Bad" things just about always turn into something beautiful.  And these days, when a problem arises, a solution usually isn't very far behind.  When you live in an attitude of trust that things will always work out, they usually do.

Further reading:
Michael Losier's book Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don't is the book that started me on this journey.  He teaches LOA in a unique way, focusing on language and practical application tips for your daily life.  HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.